How Does a Serious Foodie Prepare for Doomsday?
National Geographic Channel’s Doomsday Preppers gives viewers an insight on how citizens prepare for an end-of-world scenario. Preppers are on the front line, ready to wage a war against impending misery, misfortune and pestilence. While watching, I’ve learned that if impending doom is inevitable, then so is my worst nightmare.
There will be a food shortage.
For some people food is merely fuel, but not for me. I’ve crossed oceans to taste home-harvested olive oil and to sample sushi at the source. I’ve had a meaningful relationship with one particular French cheese. As a food writer, I travel the world, experiencing different cultures through local meals. Food is my livelihood. For me, a food shortage would be a very bad thing. It would be my end of the world.
Doomsday Preppers features a “Gourmet Prepper” – Kellene Bishop of Orem, Utah. Kellene maintains a giant food reserve at her home in case of emergency. In her kitchen, she is an accomplished cook, whipping up multi-course meals with easily stored ingredients.
But I’m an eater, not a real deal chef! Where do I begin?
When I think “emergency food” I imagine stockpiles of rice and grains, protein powder and canned tomato soup. In my doomsday scenario, there will be no more ceviche, no paper masala dosas, no lox and cream cheese on fresh New York bagels.
Faced with a dystopic eternity of powdered milk and power bars, I think I’d rather throw in the towel and join forces with the zombie army.
If I had to design my own apocalypse pantry, I can only think of a few key items. First, I can’t live without coffee; I’d buy buckets and buckets of instant coffee. My other dietary staple is hot sauce: Tabasco, Frank’s, Sriracha – I’d stockpile it all. Add some gourmet beef jerky into the mix. Honey lasts indefinitely, and so does that freeze-dried Astronaut Ice Cream on sale at the science museum.
And that’s all I’ve got. There’s no way around it: without proper prepping my foodie future is severely limited.
Foodie Prepping for the Long Haul
With some research, I found a number of survival food companies offering long-term options with a focus on flavor.
Wilderness Dining appeals directly to discerning foodies with their GOURMET SUPREME® line. What I love about this plan is that there’s no cooking necessary. Just add water – even cold – and meals will magically re-hydrate. Entrees include chicken gumbo, mountain chili and Texas BBQ chicken. The food has a shelf life of 5-10 years. A one-year supply of Gourmet Reserves carries a hefty price tag of $4,679.69 but then you can’t argue with this kind of convenience.
Food Insurance™ turns camping into “glamping” by focusing on comfort food in their long-term plans. Think blueberry pancakes, mac and cheese and lasagna with meat sauce. There’s even an option to purchase fully vegetarian or gluten-free kits. With a guaranteed shelf life of 25 years, the Food Insurance™ 1264 Entrée Meal Plan will feed a family of five (2 adults, 3 children) for six months and will set you back $3,4449.99.
Go Foods™ offers pre-packaged pouches of easy-to-make, gourmet food. Customers can even host GO Parties with reward incentives like free cruises to top sellers. They offer a number of gluten free, lactose free and kosher options. I can almost imagine myself enjoying a post-apocalyptic scenario if it involves plates of Go Foods™ Southern buttermilk biscuits and steaming bowls of sweet corn chowder. With a shelf life of 15-20 years, a six-month survival supply costs $1076.00.
Variety is key
No matter how much you may love mac and cheese, it’s going to get old a few months into the apocalypse. One option is to supplement your long-term emergency food plan.
Wise Company has a brand new 2012 line of pre-seasoned dehydrated meats like teriyaki chicken and savory roast beef that can be added to a variety of dishes. Provident Pantry® and Mountain House® are companies that offer individual cans of freeze-dried fruits, vegetables, shredded cheeses, meats and more.
Spice up the end of the world! Stock up on packaged herbs and spices like meat rubs, curries and Cajun seasoning. Don’t forget the hot sauce either – come doomsday, I promise you that Tabasco will be worth its weight in gold.
BONUS FOODIE FRIDAY RECIPE
This easy-to-make espresso-over-gelato Italian dessert will brighten any foodie prepper’s bleak future.
- 1 Tbsp. instant espresso
- 1 package freeze-dried chocolate ice cream
- ½ cup water.
Bring water to a boil. Add the instant espresso. Place the freeze-dried ice cream into a bowl. Pour the espresso over the ice cream. Savor as you enjoy the apocalypse from your bunker.